IN MOULMEIN, IN LOWER BURMA, I was hated by large numbers of
people--the only time in my life that I have been important enough for this to
happen to me. I was sub-divisional police officer of the town, and in an
aimless, petty kind of way anti-European feeling was very bitter. No one had
the guts to raise a riot, but if a European woman went through the bazaars
alone somebody would probably spit betel juice over her dress. As a police
officer I was an obvious target and was baited whenever it seemed safe to do
so. When a nimble Burman tripped me up on the football field and the referee
(another Burman) looked the other way, the crowd yelled with hideous laughter.
This happened more than once. In the end the sneering yellow faces of young
men that met me everywhere, the insults hooted after me when I was at a safe
distance, got badly on my nerves. The young Buddhist priests were the worst of
all. There were several thousands of them in the town and none of them seemed
to have anything to do except stand on street corners and jeer at Europeans.
All this was perplexing and upsetting. For at that time I had already made up
my mind that imperialism was an evil thing and the sooner I chucked up my job
and got out of it the better. Theoretically--and secretly, of course--I was
all for the Burmese and all against their oppressors, the British. As for the
job I was doing, I hated it more bitterly than I can perhaps make clear. In a
job like that you see the dirty work of Empire at close quarters. The wretched
prisoners huddling in the stinking cages of the lock-ups, the grey, cowed
faces of the long-term convicts, the scarred buttocks of the men who had been
Bogged with bamboos--all these oppressed me with an intolerable sense of
guilt. But I could get nothing into perspective. I was young and ill-educated
and I had had to think out my problems in the utter silence that is imposed on
every Englishman in the East. I did not even know that the British Empire is
dying, still less did I know that it is a great deal better than the younger
empires that are going to supplant it. All I knew was that I was stuck between
my hatred of the empire I served and my rage against the evil-spirited little
beasts who tried to make my job impossible. With one part of my mind I thought
of the British Raj as an unbreakable tyranny, as something clamped down, in saecula
saeculorum, upon the will of prostrate peoples; with another part I
thought that the greatest joy in the world would be to drive a bayonet into a
Buddhist priest's guts. Feelings like these are the normal by-products of
imperialism; ask any Anglo-Indian official, if you can catch him off duty.
One day something happened which in a roundabout way was enlightening. It was
a tiny incident in itself, but it gave me a better glimpse than I had had
before of the real nature of imperialism--the real motives for which despotic
governments act. Early one morning the sub-inspector at a police station the
other end of the town rang me up on the phone and said that an elephant was
ravaging the bazaar. Would I please come and do something about it? I did not
know what I could do, but I wanted to see what was happening and I got on to a
pony and started out. I took my rifle, an old .44 Winchester and much too
small to kill an elephant, but I thought the noise might be useful in
terrorem. Various Burmans stopped me on the way and told me about the
elephant's doings. It was not, of course, a wild elephant, but a tame one
which had gone "must." It had been chained up, as tame elephants
always are when their attack of "must" is due, but on the previous
night it had broken its chain and escaped. Its mahout, the only person who
could manage it when it was in that state, had set out in pursuit, but had
taken the wrong direction and was now twelve hours' journey away, and in the
morning the elephant had suddenly reappeared in the town. The Burmese
population had no weapons and were quite helpless against it. It had already
destroyed somebody's bamboo hut, killed a cow and raided some fruit-stalls and
devoured the stock; also it had met the municipal rubbish van and, when the
driver jumped out and took to his heels, had turned the van over and inflicted
violences upon it.
The Burmese sub-inspector and some Indian constables were waiting for me in
the quarter where the elephant had been seen. It was a very poor quarter, a
labyrinth of squalid bamboo huts, thatched with palmleaf, winding all over a
steep hillside. I remember that it was a cloudy, stuffy morning at the
beginning of the rains. We began questioning the people as to where the
elephant had gone and, as usual, failed to get any definite information. That
is invariably the case in the East; a story always sounds clear enough at a
distance, but the nearer you get to the scene of events the vaguer it becomes.
Some of the people said that the elephant had gone in one direction, some said
that he had gone in another, some professed not even to have heard of any
elephant. I had almost made up my mind that the whole story was a pack of
lies, when we heard yells a little distance away. There was a loud,
scandalized cry of "Go away, child! Go away this instant!" and an
old woman with a switch in her hand came round the corner of a hut, violently
shooing away a crowd of naked children. Some more women followed, clicking
their tongues and exclaiming; evidently there was something that the children
ought not to have seen. I rounded the hut and saw a man's dead body sprawling
in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie, almost naked, and he
could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had
come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk,
put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy
season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep
and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and
head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide
open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony.
(Never tell me, by the way, that the dead look peaceful. Most of the corpses I
have seen looked devilish.) The friction of the great beast's foot had
stripped the skin from his back as neatly as one skins a rabbit. As soon as I
saw the dead man I sent an orderly to a friend's house nearby to borrow an
elephant rifle. I had already sent back the pony, not wanting it to go mad
with fright and throw me if it smelt the elephant.
The orderly came back in a few minutes with a rifle and five cartridges, and
meanwhile some Burmans had arrived and told us that the elephant was in the
paddy fields below, only a few hundred yards away. As I started forward
practically the whole population of the quarter flocked out of the houses and
followed me. They had seen the rifle and were all shouting excitedly that I
was going to shoot the elephant. They had not shown much interest in the
elephant when he was merely ravaging their homes, but it was different now
that he was going to be shot. It was a bit of fun to them, as it would be to
an English crowd; besides they wanted the meat. It made me vaguely uneasy. I
had no intention of shooting the elephant--I had merely sent for the rifle to
defend myself if necessary--and it is always unnerving to have a crowd
following you. I marched down the hill, looking and feeling a fool, with the
rifle over my shoulder and an ever-growing army of people jostling at my
heels. At the bottom, when you got away from the huts, there was a metalled
road and beyond that a miry waste of paddy fields a thousand yards across, not
yet ploughed but soggy from the first rains and dotted with coarse grass. The
elephant was standing eight yards from the road, his left side towards us. He
took not the slightest notice of the crowd's approach. He was tearing up
bunches of grass, beating them against his knees to clean them and stuffing
them into his mouth.
I had halted on the road. As soon as I saw the elephant I knew with perfect
certainty that I ought not to shoot him. It is a serious matter to shoot a
working elephant--it is comparable to destroying a huge and costly piece of
machinery--and obviously one ought not to do it if it can possibly be avoided.
And at that distance, peacefully eating, the elephant looked no more dangerous
than a cow. I thought then and I think now that his attack of "must"
was already passing off; in which case he would merely wander harmlessly about
until the mahout came back and caught him. Moreover, I did not in the least
want to shoot him. I decided that I would watch him for a little while to make
sure that he did not turn savage again, and then go home.
But at that moment I glanced round at the crowd that had followed me. It was
an immense crowd, two thousand at the least and growing every minute. It
blocked the road for a long distance on either side. I looked at the sea of
yellow faces above the garish clothes-faces all happy and excited over this
bit of fun, all certain that the elephant was going to be shot. They were
watching me as they would watch a conjurer about to perform a trick. They did
not like me, but with the magical rifle in my hands I was momentarily worth
watching. And suddenly I realized that I should have to shoot the elephant
after all. The people expected it of me and I had got to do it; I could feel
their two thousand wills pressing me forward, irresistibly. And it was at this
moment, as I stood there with the rifle in my hands, that I first grasped the
hollowness, the futility of the white man's dominion in the East. Here was I,
the white man with his gun, standing in front of the unarmed native
crowd--seemingly the leading actor of the piece; but in reality I was only an
absurd puppet pushed to and fro by the will of those yellow faces behind. I
perceived in this moment that when the white man turns tyrant it is his own
freedom that he destroys. He becomes a sort of hollow, posing dummy, the
conventionalized figure of a sahib. For it is the condition of his rule that
he shall spend his life in trying to impress the "natives," and so
in every crisis he has got to do what the "natives" expect of him.
He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it. I had got to shoot the
elephant. I had committed myself to doing it when I sent for the rifle. A
sahib has got to act like a sahib; he has got to appear resolute, to know his
own mind and do definite things. To come all that way, rifle in hand, with two
thousand people marching at my heels, and then to trail feebly away, having
done nothing--no, that was impossible. The crowd would laugh at me. And my
whole life, every white man's life in the East, was one long struggle not to
be laughed at.
But I did not want to shoot the elephant. I watched him beating his bunch of
grass against his knees, with that preoccupied grandmotherly air that
elephants have. It seemed to me that it would be murder to shoot him. At that
age I was not squeamish about killing animals, but I had never shot an
elephant and never wanted to. (Somehow it always seems worse to kill a large
animal.) Besides, there was the beast's owner to be considered. Alive, the
elephant was worth at least a hundred pounds; dead, he would only be worth the
value of his tusks, five pounds, possibly. But I had got to act quickly. I
turned to some experienced-looking Burmans who had been there when we arrived,
and asked them how the elephant had been behaving. They all said the same
thing: he took no notice of you if you left him alone, but he might charge if
you went too close to him.
It was perfectly clear to me what I ought to do. I ought to walk up to within,
say, twenty-five yards of the elephant and test his behavior. If he charged, I
could shoot; if he took no notice of me, it would be safe to leave him until
the mahout came back. But also I knew that I was going to do no such thing. I
was a poor shot with a rifle and the ground was soft mud into which one would
sink at every step. If the elephant charged and I missed him, I should have
about as much chance as a toad under a steam-roller. But even then I was not
thinking particularly of my own skin, only of the watchful yellow faces
behind. For at that moment, with the crowd watching me, I was not afraid in
the ordinary sense, as I would have been if I had been alone. A white man
mustn't be frightened in front of "natives"; and so, in general, he
isn't frightened. The sole thought in my mind was that if anything went wrong
those two thousand Burmans would see me pursued, caught, trampled on and
reduced to a grinning corpse like that Indian up the hill. And if that
happened it was quite probable that some of them would laugh. That would never
do.
There was only one alternative. I shoved the cartridges into the magazine and
lay down on the road to get a better aim. The crowd grew very still, and a
deep, low, happy sigh, as of people who see the theatre curtain go up at last,
breathed from innumerable throats. They were going to have their bit of fun
after all. The rifle was a beautiful German thing with cross-hair sights. I
did not then know that in shooting an elephant one would shoot to cut an
imaginary bar running from ear-hole to ear-hole. I ought, therefore, as the
elephant was sideways on, to have aimed straight at his ear-hole, actually I
aimed several inches in front of this, thinking the brain would be further
forward.
When I pulled the trigger I did not hear the bang or feel the kick--one never
does when a shot goes home--but I heard the devilish roar of glee that went up
from the crowd. In that instant, in too short a time, one would have thought,
even for the bullet to get there, a mysterious, terrible change had come over
the elephant. He neither stirred nor fell, but every line of his body had
altered. He looked suddenly stricken, shrunken, immensely old, as though the
frighfful impact of the bullet had paralysed him without knocking him down. At
last, after what seemed a long time--it might have been five seconds, I dare
say--he sagged flabbily to his knees. His mouth slobbered. An enormous
senility seemed to have settled upon him. One could have imagined him
thousands of years old. I fired again into the same spot. At the second shot
he did not collapse but climbed with desperate slowness to his feet and stood
weakly upright, with legs sagging and head drooping. I fired a third time.
That was the shot that did for him. You could see the agony of it jolt his
whole body and knock the last remnant of strength from his legs. But in
falling he seemed for a moment to rise, for as his hind legs collapsed beneath
him he seemed to tower upward like a huge rock toppling, his trunk reaching
skyward like a tree. He trumpeted, for the first and only time. And then down
he came, his belly towards me, with a crash that seemed to shake the ground
even where I lay.
I got up. The Burmans were already racing past me across the mud. It was
obvious that the elephant would never rise again, but he was not dead. He was
breathing very rhythmically with long rattling gasps, his great mound of a
side painfully rising and falling. His mouth was wide open--I could see far
down into caverns of pale pink throat. I waited a long time for him to die,
but his breathing did not weaken. Finally I fired my two remaining shots into
the spot where I thought his heart must be. The thick blood welled out of him
like red velvet, but still he did not die. His body did not even jerk when the
shots hit him, the tortured breathing continued without a pause. He was dying,
very slowly and in great agony, but in some world remote from me where not
even a bullet could damage him further. I felt that I had got to put an end to
that dreadful noise. It seemed dreadful to see the great beast Lying there,
powerless to move and yet powerless to die, and not even to be able to finish
him. I sent back for my small rifle and poured shot after shot into his heart
and down his throat. They seemed to make no impression. The tortured gasps
continued as steadily as the ticking of a clock.
In the end I could not stand it any longer and went away. I heard later that
it took him half an hour to die. Burmans were bringing dahs and baskets even
before I left, and I was told they had stripped his body almost to the bones
by the afternoon.
Afterwards, of course, there were endless discussions about the shooting of
the elephant. The owner was furious, but he was only an Indian and could do
nothing. Besides, legally I had done the right thing, for a mad elephant has
to be killed, like a mad dog, if its owner fails to control it. Among the
Europeans opinion was divided. The older men said I was right, the younger men
said it was a damn shame to shoot an elephant for killing a coolie, because an
elephant was worth more than any damn Coringhee coolie. And afterwards I was
very glad that the coolie had been killed; it put me legally in the right and
it gave me a sufficient pretext for shooting the elephant. I often wondered
whether any of the others grasped that I had done it solely to avoid looking a
fool.